Sunday, October 2, 2011

Confession: I don't have any videos of my kids when they were really young.  Well that isn't completely true, I have some from my digital camera, but they are really short.  When Taylor was a baby, we were so young and broke, just paying bills was an accomplishment.  I was going to be prepared for Hannah though! Two months before she was set to arrive, we bought a camcorder with a work bonus I got.  I was so excited to fulfill my parental duty of getting videos.  So we taped our way through Thanksgiving, and Christmas before she was born (Taylor was almost 3) and Mike videotaped her birth.  I specifically remember getting my epidural, gripping my Mom's hand, and he is filming behind me saying, "Wow honey, that needle is REALLY long".  Um, thanks babe for sharing.  Well right after Hannah was born our house was broken into by some naughty teenagers and they took the camera.  I was so upset (hormones still running strong and all) and heart broken.  For weeks I put fliers up around our neighborhood pleading to just give us back the tape-leave it on our front porch, anything! Keep the damn camcorder, just give me my tape.  No such thing, it was long gone. 

Since I'm a visual person, I make "pictures" of things to remember them and ever since my kids were born, I have been making these memory snapshots in my head when I really want to remember a specific moment.  When I held each baby for the first time, I will never forget that.  Details of their birth gets fuzzier as they get older but I remember that moment of holding them for the first time, looking into their beautiful face.  Another one I have is of Hannah as a baby.  We lived in this old home built in 1920 and her room had a great built-in dresser, high moldings and we painted it a lovely lavender color...can you tell I loved her room?  I had a rocking chair by her window and I spent hours rocking, singing, nursing and holding her.   I remember telling myself to remember this time with her, those moments of holding my sweet baby, getting her ready for a nap or feeding her through the night and the feeling of complete happiness I had.

This morning since Mike was up before me as always on a Sunday morning, he brought in the Sunday paper. Taylor was already up too, but like me he likes to glide into the day.  Meaning a slow start, so he came in, nestled into his Dad's spot with pillows and read the paper with me.  That was a snapshot of him so comfortable, hanging out with me, reading the paper and the comics, giggling every so often, or sharing a story he was reading.  I love that kid and the ease of the morning and just relaxing.  I love that he enjoys the paper, it shows me how curious he is about everything in the world. That was today's snapshot.

There are so many memories with these kids, and as I keep this digital keepsake of memories and write in their journals that I have kept since I was pregnant with them, I guess it will have to be enough and in place of videos. I'll keep making those snapshots of memories....and there is always the thousands of photos I have taken, too.

Now here is a really dark video of Hannah taking her first steps (while sucking her thumb):